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I lolled in my misery, bathed lazily in the new betrayal, easily ignoring the fact that I had actively sought it.For a week or two, I was more conscious than ever of that prison of skin and bone.Some of you may be a little confused about my state of mind? Why was I so damned depressed? Over nothing worse than lost love. Sad bastard. Not the end of the world.I'll try to explain.The colour had drained out of my life when Lisa left, and at first I hadn't wanted to even try to get over it. Of course, the longer that lack of heart and soul and courage and energy went on, the more it became a way of being, a destructive habit. I fed on mental reruns of the past, and they weren't very nourishing.In the end, there was only one possible destination for the road I'd taken, and that was a prescription for antidepressants. I reached that destination. And I took the tablets willingly, because doing so seemed somehow to relieve me of the responsibility for changing the way I felt.I think, though,. Vandermeer had returned. She stood there in the door way, a fist resting upon her cocked hip, a leather satchel occupying her other hand. My mouth felt dry as I hung there, suspended by my wrists with only my toes to keep my full weight from my arms and shoulders, a desire so intense that I thought I’d cream myself right then and there. She’d shed her jacket and trousers, as well as her blouse since she’d abandoned me, stripping down to her underwear and a pair of knee high, black leather boots; the very same boots I’d licked clean with my tongue what seemed like a lifetime ago. She was stunning. The changes that giving birth had wrought to her body added to beauty, giving her voluptuousness that I sorely lacked. Lush hips and ripe breasts that accented her still slender waist reminded me that my body was still that of a young girl. She’d worked hard to keep herself looking fit, and it showed. Her creamy complexion was accented by the black lace panties and bra as well as her choice.
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